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Love {
People in stories can read faces.
	Look into others' eyes and tell what they are thinking.
He wishes that people could read his face.
	He often walks staring at the ground, hands thrust in his pockets, eyes blank and hollow, bending over in an unhealthy way.
	How can it be more obvious?
"He is seeing lines of code, snaking around in the sidewalk cracks,"
	his friends say in wonder.
He imagines sitting in the lounge at 10pm at night, someone he once knew and never thought he would see again walking in, and him saying, as if continuing up a conversation with a close friend, "You know, I never thought this would happen to me."
	I'm in love
	I am gushing water
	But the world is an infinite sponge

He is staring at a pair of braces,
	devoid of meat {

	}
But he can't pick up his fingers to type
	the program he has already pseudocoded
		in the last twenty pages of his twenty-fifth notebook
But his thoughts drift to
	I wonder what her hand feels like
And he doesn't know why
	But he takes out the pair of earphones, almost crushed in his backpack, never used
	He goes on Pandora and he types in love

if life were a contest of effort {
	he would pass with flying colors
} else if life were about intense longing {
	how much you could screw your brain thinking about something
	he would win
} but when life is a contest of happiness
	{he flunks}

He doesn't waste time friending random people
	That have nothing to offer him
Corollary:
	He can't friend people who he has nothing to offer to
	Either

She is a facebook glowbug
	numFriends = 1000
	She's typing in three different chat boxes
		And her reflection in the screen in the too-bright sunlight
	Is more beautiful than everything he's ever seen
	And seems happier than he has ever been
He has only one plug
	And it's USB.
		throws CompatibilityException
	He's typing in the console, spitting out the same lines of angry errors at him
		His reflection, ugly, old, a face drooping, wilting from unachievable longing

How glad he would be willing to trade all of the A+'s he's ever gotten
	just to experience the inexplicable happiness of long strings of conversing people flowing down the sidewalk on a Friday evening
		he always wondered where they were going
	that night
in life

Surrounded by a Friday evening crowd
	Her choice of dress the pink of a blossoming phoenix
And he has no hold

He tears off his earphones
	He runs down the stairs, out the dorm
		They are already far away, heading into the party
He looks questioningly at the brothers hanging out besides the door
	But they can't read faces either.

He tries to dance
	His hands waving falteringly
	His feet walking aimlessly
		and she comes up {
			This is how you move, she says, grasps his hand and raises them against the sky
			Swings them around in a great arc
			Pushes and pulls his arms until his feet are knocked into rhythm
				He looks up at her face, her beautiful face in wonder
His eyes those of a city boy, suddenly landed in the wilderness, the million-star expanse of the night sky opened up before him for the first time
					And he wonders, whether this can really be happening
						Is the God's reward for all my hard work?
						Or some impossible chain of causality?
		} but she gently withdraws her fingers
	He slows down and follows her leaving figure with his eyes
She wanders to the next awkward dancer
And he knows why she is a glowbug
And he knows he has no hold

The music is a crystalline trance
	And he glides in it as if it were ballet,
		Lifts his head up to the sky
	No one hears him when he says quietly,
		Why must I have tasted a crumb of fairy food
	Only to be locked away from it forever?

The music is loud and blasting again
	He gives himself up to it
		And lets himself be
			carried away by the tide {{{{{{
Holden Lee
Published in Issue 33